well, hello reader!
This morning we find Deborah Hay yet again unable to sleep and perusing the internet. The difference this time is that I'm off my sleeping tablets! Woo. So, the thing I am experiencing at present is called "rebound insomnia"....how pleasant. The good news is at least this will only last a little while and is definitely to be expected whilst coming off sleeping tablets, having been on them for about eighteen months. Speaking from experience as a long-term insomniac, sleeping tablets are a trap best to be avoided unless you can possibly avoid it (eg psychiatric conditions that make you fear lack of sleep). It just creates a rebound effect.....most doctors and chemists and psychs I know are dead against them. Much better to sleep by your own accord than by artificial means.
This is my fourth night without the tablets and I know that a lot of this insomnia is psychological. Used to having the crutch of tablets to enable sleep, I find falling asleep difficult, as well as staying asleep. The first three nights I fell asleep after an hour or so, only to wake up around 3...which was useful, as Alex has been very unsettled and has needed bonjela, panadol, a bottle...etc. I've had some good sleeps, with dreams in them, so I know that I've reached the REM stage of sleep, the good stuff. This is very encouraging. And I know that this insomnia will not last forever. I've had horrid periods of persistent insomnia in my early sobriety, and at the time I thought I would never sleep again. I did. So I know I will again. It is wonderfully exciting that I am off my sleeping medication. When I stop being so tired and start sleeping naturally, I will be so much better off. The sleeping tablets make you sluggish and slow your metabolism down
***eeeeeeeeeew my cat just jumped on my lap and farted.....gross***********
So, in summation.......(I am choking on fumes).....I am sleepless in Shepparton, but not hopeless! I am so excited about what the coming months bring. I feel at home in my body, in my mind. I had a great day today and really enjoyed being Alex's mum. I didn't feel worried about how I was going to get through the day......I have what I always wished for during the desperate first months of PND. I can be myself and be a mum. It isn't always perfect and I cut corners all the time. But I love my baby and I love my husband and I have friends and family who love me and all in all....life is pretty peachy.
I am so excited about my friend Suzanne having a baby. It was her due date today and I am trying not to trouble her with ten million "is it here yet?" texts and calls....but I am so excited.....she is so gorgeous and I can't wait to meet her gorgeous baby.
hmmmm getting sleepy. One last look at embarassing emails on snopes.com and back to bed for me. My poor light sleeper of a hubby is being disturbed quite a bit with my nocturnal activity. He's being very understanding. Bless him!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I to the N to the SOMNIA!
yeah....I am not sleeping at the moment and I would like to be. Which sucks.
I have never been the world's best sleeper. Even when I was ten years old mum had bought me those relaxation tapes so I could try to sleep better. They never really worked. I get so upset about not being able to go to sleep that I just stress and stress and stress. It freaks me out.
Since going all nutso a coupla years ago, I have been on sleepers to help me sleep, which usually work. I have also been trying to exercise every day or at least every second day. I haven't had a "I know I'm not going to be able to sleep for a while" night in a while. I was lying there with my heart palpating a bit, wide awake and getting more and more anxious.
My solution is to get up and do something like post on my blog, read a book....think about stuff.
I think the fact that I was thinking about stuff is what got me unable to sleep. I mentioned a bit before about my BPD, but one of the symptoms is being unable to have good relationships with others and only seeing negatives in other people's behaviours. I have been really good with trying not to react to what I perceive as other people's poor treatment of me, to treat it in a detatched sort of way and talk to people I know who will give me both sides of the story.
Well the other day I forgot all that and got very annoyed with a friend of mine who I had rung quite a few times before I moved, cause she hadn't returned my calls, and just sent me a message on facebook saying we should catch up. I was annoyed that she couldn't be bothered picking up the phone, but let it go. I suggested a time when we caught up. This wasn't suitable. I suggested another time and there was a "yeah, that sounds good". Then I didn't hear from her for three weeks. I became more and more cranky, thinking "if someone moved to the town that i was living in and didn't know anyone I would try a little harder to be a friend". And I let her have it, saying I was annoyed and upset that she couldn't give me any of her time.
Ooooh boy...and did I get it in a blast back from her. She is working and studying full time, she has a 9 year old daughter, she just had a miscarriage (I didn't even know she was in a relationship)....she has no time for anyone at the moment and she doesn't need me making her feel guilty about it when she's tried hard to catch up with me. Ha!
I felt annoyed when I got her message......then as quickly as the annoyance came, was the shame. Oh dear, she is havign a really hard time and I have just sent her a horrible message which makes her feel dreadful. I am not proud of myself. I got a feeling of massive dejavu, I always used to do this with my friends in Canberra....have fallings out and tell other friends, I was always warring with someone, I always had a nemesis on any given day.
I have stepped back into that world and I hate it. It feels awful. I want to go into my brain and remove the bit that told me it was a good idea to write that email and not just to be tolerant and think the best of people, not the worst. If people aren't continually reassuring me that i am ok, I think they hate me. This does not make sense, but hurrah for psychiatrists. My shrink will no doubtedly advise further action. And guess what? blogging about it helps. Yay. And Kristy, I am sorry. :(
I have never been the world's best sleeper. Even when I was ten years old mum had bought me those relaxation tapes so I could try to sleep better. They never really worked. I get so upset about not being able to go to sleep that I just stress and stress and stress. It freaks me out.
Since going all nutso a coupla years ago, I have been on sleepers to help me sleep, which usually work. I have also been trying to exercise every day or at least every second day. I haven't had a "I know I'm not going to be able to sleep for a while" night in a while. I was lying there with my heart palpating a bit, wide awake and getting more and more anxious.
My solution is to get up and do something like post on my blog, read a book....think about stuff.
I think the fact that I was thinking about stuff is what got me unable to sleep. I mentioned a bit before about my BPD, but one of the symptoms is being unable to have good relationships with others and only seeing negatives in other people's behaviours. I have been really good with trying not to react to what I perceive as other people's poor treatment of me, to treat it in a detatched sort of way and talk to people I know who will give me both sides of the story.
Well the other day I forgot all that and got very annoyed with a friend of mine who I had rung quite a few times before I moved, cause she hadn't returned my calls, and just sent me a message on facebook saying we should catch up. I was annoyed that she couldn't be bothered picking up the phone, but let it go. I suggested a time when we caught up. This wasn't suitable. I suggested another time and there was a "yeah, that sounds good". Then I didn't hear from her for three weeks. I became more and more cranky, thinking "if someone moved to the town that i was living in and didn't know anyone I would try a little harder to be a friend". And I let her have it, saying I was annoyed and upset that she couldn't give me any of her time.
Ooooh boy...and did I get it in a blast back from her. She is working and studying full time, she has a 9 year old daughter, she just had a miscarriage (I didn't even know she was in a relationship)....she has no time for anyone at the moment and she doesn't need me making her feel guilty about it when she's tried hard to catch up with me. Ha!
I felt annoyed when I got her message......then as quickly as the annoyance came, was the shame. Oh dear, she is havign a really hard time and I have just sent her a horrible message which makes her feel dreadful. I am not proud of myself. I got a feeling of massive dejavu, I always used to do this with my friends in Canberra....have fallings out and tell other friends, I was always warring with someone, I always had a nemesis on any given day.
I have stepped back into that world and I hate it. It feels awful. I want to go into my brain and remove the bit that told me it was a good idea to write that email and not just to be tolerant and think the best of people, not the worst. If people aren't continually reassuring me that i am ok, I think they hate me. This does not make sense, but hurrah for psychiatrists. My shrink will no doubtedly advise further action. And guess what? blogging about it helps. Yay. And Kristy, I am sorry. :(
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
More incoherent ramblings
Well, good afternoon all.
This post finds me almost well and sitting here quite happy with my lot. I have been looking back a bit this afternoon, something about looking at Facebook and seeing what my contemporaries have been up to. I've decided that a beautiful little boy and a handsome, loving husband, as well as a supportive family and in-laws is actually a very good deal.
About five years ago I was a very different person.....although a lot the same in some ways. On the 25th of May 2003, I stopped drinking altogether because of a drunken accident I was in. I lost my license for 6 months and got fined $1000. I was lucky not to have been killed or jailed...or worse still, killed someone else.
I was reeling from the shock of it all, and from the shock of my sister announcing her engagement to a honest, reliable and quite gorgeous farmer from Finley. She's 20 months younger than me and has always had her sh*t together in a way that I've never managed. Her engagement really brought home to me that my life was going nowhere fast. I had a series of "relationships", a series of "friendships" and a series of "jobs". Some friends, family, and jobs had hung in there longer than most, but many I had alienated with my mercurial personality and self-defeating behaviour.
I can recognise now that I have problems in the way that I see the world and the way that I form relationships with people. The diagnosis this year that I have Borderline Personality Disorder really puts into focus what I have been grappling with for the past 5 years, but also in a sense, for all of my life.
You see, I have never really felt like I fitted in, I have never liked myself. I have always thought I was ugly and despaired of my ability to ever get a good job, get a man, get friends, etc. When these things came my way, I abused them and lost them. If they hung on, I abused them and despised them. I hated myself and anyone who loved me was worthy of scorn.
It is a massive relief to find out that I actually have a DISEASE which makes me behave/feel like this. I am also an alcoholic - I can never drink again, and haven't since my accident just over 5 years ago. I often used to wonder "why do I hate myself so much?" "Why do I behave like this?".....and over the last five years I have found out why.
If I step outside myself, I can see that I do have good points. I have a warped sense of humour, I love children and small animals, I love my family, I love God, I want to belong, I have a keen fashion sense, I feel things deeply.
On the minus side, I am prone to over-reaction, I have a very thin emotional skin, I doubt and hate myself at times, I can be a real b*tch, I indulge in self-defeating behaviour.
I have found that part of this journey has been to accept myself for who I am, whoever that may be on any given day, and just press on with the task at hand.
I have a charmed life today, the aforementioned lovely hubby and child, and yet sometimes I want things to go badly for me, or to people to treat me badly, so I can complain. I am not content with a good life, I want drama, action, gossip. I am addicted to bad behaviours and really miss the compulsive behaviours I have let go sometimes. I miss being a drunk, a tart and a smoker. (Which is worse, she wonders????)....Responsibility has never sat particularly easy on my shoulders and today it is no different.
How lucky am I that I have the chance to have a good life and change my bad reactions and combat my bad, self defeating behaviour? I have so many people I want to make things up to. Thank you everyone who has kept on loving me even though I have made it hard for them. Today is the future. Today is whatever I want it to be. Today can be healthy if I want it to be.
Yay!
This post finds me almost well and sitting here quite happy with my lot. I have been looking back a bit this afternoon, something about looking at Facebook and seeing what my contemporaries have been up to. I've decided that a beautiful little boy and a handsome, loving husband, as well as a supportive family and in-laws is actually a very good deal.
About five years ago I was a very different person.....although a lot the same in some ways. On the 25th of May 2003, I stopped drinking altogether because of a drunken accident I was in. I lost my license for 6 months and got fined $1000. I was lucky not to have been killed or jailed...or worse still, killed someone else.
I was reeling from the shock of it all, and from the shock of my sister announcing her engagement to a honest, reliable and quite gorgeous farmer from Finley. She's 20 months younger than me and has always had her sh*t together in a way that I've never managed. Her engagement really brought home to me that my life was going nowhere fast. I had a series of "relationships", a series of "friendships" and a series of "jobs". Some friends, family, and jobs had hung in there longer than most, but many I had alienated with my mercurial personality and self-defeating behaviour.
I can recognise now that I have problems in the way that I see the world and the way that I form relationships with people. The diagnosis this year that I have Borderline Personality Disorder really puts into focus what I have been grappling with for the past 5 years, but also in a sense, for all of my life.
You see, I have never really felt like I fitted in, I have never liked myself. I have always thought I was ugly and despaired of my ability to ever get a good job, get a man, get friends, etc. When these things came my way, I abused them and lost them. If they hung on, I abused them and despised them. I hated myself and anyone who loved me was worthy of scorn.
It is a massive relief to find out that I actually have a DISEASE which makes me behave/feel like this. I am also an alcoholic - I can never drink again, and haven't since my accident just over 5 years ago. I often used to wonder "why do I hate myself so much?" "Why do I behave like this?".....and over the last five years I have found out why.
If I step outside myself, I can see that I do have good points. I have a warped sense of humour, I love children and small animals, I love my family, I love God, I want to belong, I have a keen fashion sense, I feel things deeply.
On the minus side, I am prone to over-reaction, I have a very thin emotional skin, I doubt and hate myself at times, I can be a real b*tch, I indulge in self-defeating behaviour.
I have found that part of this journey has been to accept myself for who I am, whoever that may be on any given day, and just press on with the task at hand.
I have a charmed life today, the aforementioned lovely hubby and child, and yet sometimes I want things to go badly for me, or to people to treat me badly, so I can complain. I am not content with a good life, I want drama, action, gossip. I am addicted to bad behaviours and really miss the compulsive behaviours I have let go sometimes. I miss being a drunk, a tart and a smoker. (Which is worse, she wonders????)....Responsibility has never sat particularly easy on my shoulders and today it is no different.
How lucky am I that I have the chance to have a good life and change my bad reactions and combat my bad, self defeating behaviour? I have so many people I want to make things up to. Thank you everyone who has kept on loving me even though I have made it hard for them. Today is the future. Today is whatever I want it to be. Today can be healthy if I want it to be.
Yay!
Monday, May 26, 2008
I really dislike pads with wings.
Ok, so that may be an overshare, but I really really hate them. To the uninformed, they are silly bits of paper either side of your feminine sanitary towel, which are supposed to cling to your pants and stop said towel from shifting around.
And I hate them. I find they hardly ever work, mostly they shrivel up on themselves and create a little papery bulge which is impossible to adhere to your undergarments. I don't understand when it was that women decided we needed an extra bit of useless paper on our pads, but it's near impossible to get a femminine hygiene product sans wings, which really gets on my wick.
Oh, and was anyone else watching Rove last night? Chaz from the Chaser pashed him! It was extremely full on and I was a bit shocked. I thought, am I being homophobic, and thought...no....I would be just as shocked as if it was a female guest who had tried to suck the face off him.
Also, in other news.....The McDonalds on Melbourne road in Shepparton has extremely poor customer service. Picture a whole mcdonalds full of 18 - 19 year old girls who are just making money so they can go out and buy alcopops and fags. They care very little as to whether your McDonalds experience is a happy one. I felt like saying "I was 18 once you know, I was trendy, damn you!". I doubt they would believe me.
Coles have nappies on sale for $30 per box. oooher! Exciting stuff, I hear you say. I must respond to some emails from friends, I haven't sat down at the computer for ages.....trying to unpack and keep Mr Hay junior under control.
I can hear him swearing at something now, probably surrounded by:
a. dirt
b. soap
c. washing powder
d. dirty clothes
e. a mystery concoction of all the above.
And I hate them. I find they hardly ever work, mostly they shrivel up on themselves and create a little papery bulge which is impossible to adhere to your undergarments. I don't understand when it was that women decided we needed an extra bit of useless paper on our pads, but it's near impossible to get a femminine hygiene product sans wings, which really gets on my wick.
Oh, and was anyone else watching Rove last night? Chaz from the Chaser pashed him! It was extremely full on and I was a bit shocked. I thought, am I being homophobic, and thought...no....I would be just as shocked as if it was a female guest who had tried to suck the face off him.
Also, in other news.....The McDonalds on Melbourne road in Shepparton has extremely poor customer service. Picture a whole mcdonalds full of 18 - 19 year old girls who are just making money so they can go out and buy alcopops and fags. They care very little as to whether your McDonalds experience is a happy one. I felt like saying "I was 18 once you know, I was trendy, damn you!". I doubt they would believe me.
Coles have nappies on sale for $30 per box. oooher! Exciting stuff, I hear you say. I must respond to some emails from friends, I haven't sat down at the computer for ages.....trying to unpack and keep Mr Hay junior under control.
I can hear him swearing at something now, probably surrounded by:
a. dirt
b. soap
c. washing powder
d. dirty clothes
e. a mystery concoction of all the above.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder
Crikey!
I hate to say it but it makes sense. Have a look at this article...http://esvc000144.wic027u.server-web.com/pdfs/U%20Borderline%20Personality%20Disorder.pdf
It pretty much describes me. So now I am going to soak up that knowledge and get some help! yay for help.
Love you all,
Deb xoxo
I hate to say it but it makes sense. Have a look at this article...http://esvc000144.wic027u.server-web.com/pdfs/U%20Borderline%20Personality%20Disorder.pdf
It pretty much describes me. So now I am going to soak up that knowledge and get some help! yay for help.
Love you all,
Deb xoxo
April was a write off and May has been crap!
Good morning bloggers,
I am here at mum and dad's house in Finley (the house we used to live in) taking it easy while Richard, Alex, Mum and Dad go and get some furniture etc to move here from Tocumwal.
April was a write off cause I was too busy stressing about packing and doing the packing to blog or do anything apart from gaze at my own navel.
I am now going to take a little while to reflect over the past few weeks. You see, I had high hopes about moving to Shepparton, as well as being a little afraid of the change. I did my homework and sought out playgroups, MOPS, daycare workers, potential shopping districts, the gym, the library....I had my first week planned out.
Richard and I moved on the 3rd of May and I had big plans, was excited about unpacking and putting my mark on the house. Then, Alex started to get sick. He was happy enough on Sunday when I took him to church (richard stayed home for a much deserved sleep in)....then Sunday night he got very whingey and upset and when I checked him at about 10pm he was burning up and grunting in his sleep. I was very worried and rang mum (like you do)....then took him down to the hospital. By the time the doctor saw him, at about ten to one in the morning, he had calmed down and seemed fine.
Monday he was cross but still eating and drinking.... Monday night he woke every two or so hours and we gave him Panadol. Tuesday he was definitely not himself. I took him for a shower with me and on the way out of the bedroom, I slipped on the tiles, jarring my back and dropping the poor boy on the tiles. He wailed and wailed. I started to cry and rang the doctor here for an appointment. When I went there she diagnosed tonsilitis and sent us away with some antibiotics. He also had a bit of a rash around his mouth which she said was viral.
Tuesday night he woke every hour or so and his rash had gotten worse, blisters and stuff around his mouth and his little botty. I decided on Wednesday morning that I would take him over to see dad and get a second opinion. Dad had a look and diagnosed Herpes Simplex, the cold sore virus, which is very painful as the blisters get on the mouth and tounge. He wasn't drinking at all and sometimes spitting stuff out. Mum decided to come to shepparton with me and help with Alex and to help me unpack.
Just before we left Finley, I lifted a really heavy microwave out of mum's car....lifting with my back and not bending my knees. After the drive to Shep, I sat down for a bit, then when I went to get up my back spasmed painfully. I have had a back spasm before so thought, ok, heat pack and drugs, she'll be right. We went home and I sat on the lounge. After sitting for a while I decided to visit the bathroom and couldnt' stand! I crawled all the way and then got into bed. Richard and mum came to see me and I tried to have a shower but I couldn't stand..it was just too painful.
i also couldn't visit the bathroom so mum had to help me with a bedpan! How humilliating! Then Thursday morning mum rang an ambulance cause I just could not move. They gave me that pain thing to suck on whilst they put me in a wheelchair then on a bed. I was so awful, I felt like one of those massive fat women who end up stuck in their house cause of their extreme obesity and have to be winched out.
The doctor diagnosed a pinched nerve between the muscle spasm and prescribed heavy painkillers, which didn't make much of a dent to be honest. I was screaming like a woman in labour as I tried to get out of the bed. I also had to lay there for about four hours as the ER was really busy. I was dying for a pee and told a nurse...she said I'd have to get onto a chair loo...and I said "i am sorry but I can't stand up...I want to but I just can't!!". SO she shoved a bedpan under my butt and left me there, saying she would be back soon. Ten minutes later, as wee began seeping out of the pan and onto my sheets, another nurse came past. She pulled back the sheets after I explained my problem and exclaimed loudly "oh you've wet the bed, it's gone EVERYWHERE!" I started to cry because, hello....could it be more humilliating? She said "oh love, don't cry, we'll fix it". When the other nurse came back I said "oh that bed pan spilt'. "oh..."she said.."yes, I thought that might happen". Stupid woman!
So from Thursday last week til Wednesday this week, I didn't get out of bed much. I was able to use the toilet with help, and to go by myself on about sunday. Such a thrill for Richard to help his wife use the toilet. Life is so glamorous sometimes!
The phone has only just been connected by Optus, which has been very annoying, and the lady who we chose to be our daycare provider has been very inflexible and offputting about Alex and myself being sick. There was a disagreement over payments and she claimed that I had "upset her". My goodness, I thought. Grow a spine, lady. Then she rang family day care and they rang me and said that they thought it would be best for both if we got another daycare provider. Apparently this lady had just been in hospital for a procedure and was "fragile".
So when we go back I will have to go and see another daycare lady and see what happens there. I really miss our old Daycare lady.....Richard's sister Catherine. She was so caring and accommodating. I suppose our ex daycarer has just had fairly straightforward people and nobody who has had all the dramaz that we have had.
So there you have it. I really just hope that next week is better!
I am here at mum and dad's house in Finley (the house we used to live in) taking it easy while Richard, Alex, Mum and Dad go and get some furniture etc to move here from Tocumwal.
April was a write off cause I was too busy stressing about packing and doing the packing to blog or do anything apart from gaze at my own navel.
I am now going to take a little while to reflect over the past few weeks. You see, I had high hopes about moving to Shepparton, as well as being a little afraid of the change. I did my homework and sought out playgroups, MOPS, daycare workers, potential shopping districts, the gym, the library....I had my first week planned out.
Richard and I moved on the 3rd of May and I had big plans, was excited about unpacking and putting my mark on the house. Then, Alex started to get sick. He was happy enough on Sunday when I took him to church (richard stayed home for a much deserved sleep in)....then Sunday night he got very whingey and upset and when I checked him at about 10pm he was burning up and grunting in his sleep. I was very worried and rang mum (like you do)....then took him down to the hospital. By the time the doctor saw him, at about ten to one in the morning, he had calmed down and seemed fine.
Monday he was cross but still eating and drinking.... Monday night he woke every two or so hours and we gave him Panadol. Tuesday he was definitely not himself. I took him for a shower with me and on the way out of the bedroom, I slipped on the tiles, jarring my back and dropping the poor boy on the tiles. He wailed and wailed. I started to cry and rang the doctor here for an appointment. When I went there she diagnosed tonsilitis and sent us away with some antibiotics. He also had a bit of a rash around his mouth which she said was viral.
Tuesday night he woke every hour or so and his rash had gotten worse, blisters and stuff around his mouth and his little botty. I decided on Wednesday morning that I would take him over to see dad and get a second opinion. Dad had a look and diagnosed Herpes Simplex, the cold sore virus, which is very painful as the blisters get on the mouth and tounge. He wasn't drinking at all and sometimes spitting stuff out. Mum decided to come to shepparton with me and help with Alex and to help me unpack.
Just before we left Finley, I lifted a really heavy microwave out of mum's car....lifting with my back and not bending my knees. After the drive to Shep, I sat down for a bit, then when I went to get up my back spasmed painfully. I have had a back spasm before so thought, ok, heat pack and drugs, she'll be right. We went home and I sat on the lounge. After sitting for a while I decided to visit the bathroom and couldnt' stand! I crawled all the way and then got into bed. Richard and mum came to see me and I tried to have a shower but I couldn't stand..it was just too painful.
i also couldn't visit the bathroom so mum had to help me with a bedpan! How humilliating! Then Thursday morning mum rang an ambulance cause I just could not move. They gave me that pain thing to suck on whilst they put me in a wheelchair then on a bed. I was so awful, I felt like one of those massive fat women who end up stuck in their house cause of their extreme obesity and have to be winched out.
The doctor diagnosed a pinched nerve between the muscle spasm and prescribed heavy painkillers, which didn't make much of a dent to be honest. I was screaming like a woman in labour as I tried to get out of the bed. I also had to lay there for about four hours as the ER was really busy. I was dying for a pee and told a nurse...she said I'd have to get onto a chair loo...and I said "i am sorry but I can't stand up...I want to but I just can't!!". SO she shoved a bedpan under my butt and left me there, saying she would be back soon. Ten minutes later, as wee began seeping out of the pan and onto my sheets, another nurse came past. She pulled back the sheets after I explained my problem and exclaimed loudly "oh you've wet the bed, it's gone EVERYWHERE!" I started to cry because, hello....could it be more humilliating? She said "oh love, don't cry, we'll fix it". When the other nurse came back I said "oh that bed pan spilt'. "oh..."she said.."yes, I thought that might happen". Stupid woman!
So from Thursday last week til Wednesday this week, I didn't get out of bed much. I was able to use the toilet with help, and to go by myself on about sunday. Such a thrill for Richard to help his wife use the toilet. Life is so glamorous sometimes!
The phone has only just been connected by Optus, which has been very annoying, and the lady who we chose to be our daycare provider has been very inflexible and offputting about Alex and myself being sick. There was a disagreement over payments and she claimed that I had "upset her". My goodness, I thought. Grow a spine, lady. Then she rang family day care and they rang me and said that they thought it would be best for both if we got another daycare provider. Apparently this lady had just been in hospital for a procedure and was "fragile".
So when we go back I will have to go and see another daycare lady and see what happens there. I really miss our old Daycare lady.....Richard's sister Catherine. She was so caring and accommodating. I suppose our ex daycarer has just had fairly straightforward people and nobody who has had all the dramaz that we have had.
So there you have it. I really just hope that next week is better!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
I love it when things make sense
You know when you've judged someone harshly in the past, then they tell you something about themselves from back then....that changes the emotional landscape? It means you can put another context on things....be kinder......
It means that the image of the person you know becomes clearer....and nicer. I do like this person, more and more. Someone I blogged about and had to delete cause it was horrid.
I had a fantastic day today and I'm going to bed. Love you all. I love my mothers group friends. They are sooo choice (ferris bueller)
ps - Ange, I'll call you back tomorrow and the $2 is in the mail! :)
It means that the image of the person you know becomes clearer....and nicer. I do like this person, more and more. Someone I blogged about and had to delete cause it was horrid.
I had a fantastic day today and I'm going to bed. Love you all. I love my mothers group friends. They are sooo choice (ferris bueller)
ps - Ange, I'll call you back tomorrow and the $2 is in the mail! :)
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