Ok....Alex is sick again and it is quite difficult taking him to the doctor as he gets upset really easily and when he's sick I'm usually sleep deprived and stressed as well. It didn't really help that last night I stayed up til nearly 1am looking at websites on Borderline Personality Disorder.
It was really interesting though, I found this site http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a107.htm on supporting a family member with BPD. I sent it to all my family cause so much of it is stuff that I think.
Anyhoo...back to the post's title....Alex had been very upset in the surgery and I was putting him and my shopping in the car when a coupla teenagers and their parents walked up and the boy opened his door on the trolley that I was unpacking. THey glared at me. I said "can I just get things unpacked? my son's not well".. The mother snapped "well HURRY UP then, you could just move your trolley over to the other side so we can get in your car". I felt totally pissed off as I was there before them and didn't have to say anything at all to them...was just doing so out of kindness (I am a real giver). I muttered something about "oh yeah, thanks, great...one mother appeals to another, good on you.....I'm sure your toddler was never sick and upset" and she refused to look at me as I moved my trolley to the other side and muttered. I found this so upsetting and was upset and stressed and pissed off. As they pulled out of the car park, with me fighting the urge to go and yell at her, I raised my hand in a one-fingered salute...and instantly felt disappointed in myself. I am trying so hard to respond to stress in a reasonable way and not to get into things that are nothing to do with me.
I take things so personally....I didn't think that perhaps they were stressed or just wanted to get into their car and weren't thinking of me and my struggle. Gah. Oh well....tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to Sydney so will potentially run into rudeness from other travellers. I must steel myself NOT TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY! Some people have attitude problems and often that is nothing to do with me. Look at the 20 other people who smiled sympathetically at me in the shopping centre when Alex was crying and clinging to me and not the one freakin person who was rude. Glass half empty, not half full. Yes.
I'm going to go and get dinner ready and cook a meal for tomorrow night when I'm away. Hope all is well to my pals. write me a comment and acknowledge my frailties!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The best things in life are free
but you can tell it to the birds and bees.....
I've just been sitting here looking at my blog and how well it started out and how quickly it fell in a hole! it's been nearly three months since I wrote anything...and I think that my problem is that I write massive essays/epistles and then feel pressured because I don't want to sit down and write so much all the time. I think sometimes I'm just gonna have to write a little sentence or paragraph and then the blog will be more alive.
My husband just called me a slimy green turtle, and boy did it make me laugh. We were having one of those abstract conversations about cartoons and I was telling him that I was coming out of my shell....so yes..I am a slimy green turtle. That's ok cause I called him a giant rat, aka Splinter.
Oh dear..Alex is whinging and whining. What fun for all involved. He fell asleep at 7.20 without dinner, he was so tired he was practically hysterical. I fear a long night ahead! I don't know what is wrong with him. I've given him panadol and that should fix everything, shouldn't it?
I want to give you a list of top 10 things I love about Shep:
1. The shops!
2. Aquamoves, a fabulous gym
3. Saeeda, our fantastic daycare lady
4. Lots of different parks to take Alex to
5. Jungle Jive - this indoor playgym with a lovely cup of coffee has been my saviour on a wet/cold/windy day
6. My new friends Marianne and Kelly and Catherine
7. More 12 step meetings here and volunteer work
8. The fabulous drama group, STAG, whose latest production I have scored a role in
9. The anonimity - nobody says "are you Jennie's sister/Richard's wife/ Dr Cook's daughter"
10. The fact that it's a new start and nobody here looks at me with pity (yet!)
And....without further ado, the 10 things I'm not so crazy about Shep:
1. None of my family live here and I miss them
2. Everything is more spread out so I don't walk as much as I used to in Finley
3. I miss being part of a tight-knit community sometimes
4. I am quite often the new girl and have to do lots of small talk, sometimes I wish I could just cut the crap!
5. People in Shep have the audacity to have their own lives! ha. I find that people can be really busy and I find it hard to be persistent if they turn me down for social things
6.The anonimity- in some ways I'm not as accountable for my behaviour
7. I miss my mothers group and rolling with my homies Sara, Dimity, Tessa, etc
8. I miss Richard's family too, they're very supportive and good babysitters!
9. Road rage and paying for parking
10. Not getting to see my gorgeous niece and nephews all the time (kinda ties in with 1!)
I've just been sitting here looking at my blog and how well it started out and how quickly it fell in a hole! it's been nearly three months since I wrote anything...and I think that my problem is that I write massive essays/epistles and then feel pressured because I don't want to sit down and write so much all the time. I think sometimes I'm just gonna have to write a little sentence or paragraph and then the blog will be more alive.
My husband just called me a slimy green turtle, and boy did it make me laugh. We were having one of those abstract conversations about cartoons and I was telling him that I was coming out of my shell....so yes..I am a slimy green turtle. That's ok cause I called him a giant rat, aka Splinter.
Oh dear..Alex is whinging and whining. What fun for all involved. He fell asleep at 7.20 without dinner, he was so tired he was practically hysterical. I fear a long night ahead! I don't know what is wrong with him. I've given him panadol and that should fix everything, shouldn't it?
I want to give you a list of top 10 things I love about Shep:
1. The shops!
2. Aquamoves, a fabulous gym
3. Saeeda, our fantastic daycare lady
4. Lots of different parks to take Alex to
5. Jungle Jive - this indoor playgym with a lovely cup of coffee has been my saviour on a wet/cold/windy day
6. My new friends Marianne and Kelly and Catherine
7. More 12 step meetings here and volunteer work
8. The fabulous drama group, STAG, whose latest production I have scored a role in
9. The anonimity - nobody says "are you Jennie's sister/Richard's wife/ Dr Cook's daughter"
10. The fact that it's a new start and nobody here looks at me with pity (yet!)
And....without further ado, the 10 things I'm not so crazy about Shep:
1. None of my family live here and I miss them
2. Everything is more spread out so I don't walk as much as I used to in Finley
3. I miss being part of a tight-knit community sometimes
4. I am quite often the new girl and have to do lots of small talk, sometimes I wish I could just cut the crap!
5. People in Shep have the audacity to have their own lives! ha. I find that people can be really busy and I find it hard to be persistent if they turn me down for social things
6.The anonimity- in some ways I'm not as accountable for my behaviour
7. I miss my mothers group and rolling with my homies Sara, Dimity, Tessa, etc
8. I miss Richard's family too, they're very supportive and good babysitters!
9. Road rage and paying for parking
10. Not getting to see my gorgeous niece and nephews all the time (kinda ties in with 1!)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Only one month between posts! I am reading snopes.com
well, hello reader!
This morning we find Deborah Hay yet again unable to sleep and perusing the internet. The difference this time is that I'm off my sleeping tablets! Woo. So, the thing I am experiencing at present is called "rebound insomnia"....how pleasant. The good news is at least this will only last a little while and is definitely to be expected whilst coming off sleeping tablets, having been on them for about eighteen months. Speaking from experience as a long-term insomniac, sleeping tablets are a trap best to be avoided unless you can possibly avoid it (eg psychiatric conditions that make you fear lack of sleep). It just creates a rebound effect.....most doctors and chemists and psychs I know are dead against them. Much better to sleep by your own accord than by artificial means.
This is my fourth night without the tablets and I know that a lot of this insomnia is psychological. Used to having the crutch of tablets to enable sleep, I find falling asleep difficult, as well as staying asleep. The first three nights I fell asleep after an hour or so, only to wake up around 3...which was useful, as Alex has been very unsettled and has needed bonjela, panadol, a bottle...etc. I've had some good sleeps, with dreams in them, so I know that I've reached the REM stage of sleep, the good stuff. This is very encouraging. And I know that this insomnia will not last forever. I've had horrid periods of persistent insomnia in my early sobriety, and at the time I thought I would never sleep again. I did. So I know I will again. It is wonderfully exciting that I am off my sleeping medication. When I stop being so tired and start sleeping naturally, I will be so much better off. The sleeping tablets make you sluggish and slow your metabolism down
***eeeeeeeeeew my cat just jumped on my lap and farted.....gross***********
So, in summation.......(I am choking on fumes).....I am sleepless in Shepparton, but not hopeless! I am so excited about what the coming months bring. I feel at home in my body, in my mind. I had a great day today and really enjoyed being Alex's mum. I didn't feel worried about how I was going to get through the day......I have what I always wished for during the desperate first months of PND. I can be myself and be a mum. It isn't always perfect and I cut corners all the time. But I love my baby and I love my husband and I have friends and family who love me and all in all....life is pretty peachy.
I am so excited about my friend Suzanne having a baby. It was her due date today and I am trying not to trouble her with ten million "is it here yet?" texts and calls....but I am so excited.....she is so gorgeous and I can't wait to meet her gorgeous baby.
hmmmm getting sleepy. One last look at embarassing emails on snopes.com and back to bed for me. My poor light sleeper of a hubby is being disturbed quite a bit with my nocturnal activity. He's being very understanding. Bless him!
This morning we find Deborah Hay yet again unable to sleep and perusing the internet. The difference this time is that I'm off my sleeping tablets! Woo. So, the thing I am experiencing at present is called "rebound insomnia"....how pleasant. The good news is at least this will only last a little while and is definitely to be expected whilst coming off sleeping tablets, having been on them for about eighteen months. Speaking from experience as a long-term insomniac, sleeping tablets are a trap best to be avoided unless you can possibly avoid it (eg psychiatric conditions that make you fear lack of sleep). It just creates a rebound effect.....most doctors and chemists and psychs I know are dead against them. Much better to sleep by your own accord than by artificial means.
This is my fourth night without the tablets and I know that a lot of this insomnia is psychological. Used to having the crutch of tablets to enable sleep, I find falling asleep difficult, as well as staying asleep. The first three nights I fell asleep after an hour or so, only to wake up around 3...which was useful, as Alex has been very unsettled and has needed bonjela, panadol, a bottle...etc. I've had some good sleeps, with dreams in them, so I know that I've reached the REM stage of sleep, the good stuff. This is very encouraging. And I know that this insomnia will not last forever. I've had horrid periods of persistent insomnia in my early sobriety, and at the time I thought I would never sleep again. I did. So I know I will again. It is wonderfully exciting that I am off my sleeping medication. When I stop being so tired and start sleeping naturally, I will be so much better off. The sleeping tablets make you sluggish and slow your metabolism down
***eeeeeeeeeew my cat just jumped on my lap and farted.....gross***********
So, in summation.......(I am choking on fumes).....I am sleepless in Shepparton, but not hopeless! I am so excited about what the coming months bring. I feel at home in my body, in my mind. I had a great day today and really enjoyed being Alex's mum. I didn't feel worried about how I was going to get through the day......I have what I always wished for during the desperate first months of PND. I can be myself and be a mum. It isn't always perfect and I cut corners all the time. But I love my baby and I love my husband and I have friends and family who love me and all in all....life is pretty peachy.
I am so excited about my friend Suzanne having a baby. It was her due date today and I am trying not to trouble her with ten million "is it here yet?" texts and calls....but I am so excited.....she is so gorgeous and I can't wait to meet her gorgeous baby.
hmmmm getting sleepy. One last look at embarassing emails on snopes.com and back to bed for me. My poor light sleeper of a hubby is being disturbed quite a bit with my nocturnal activity. He's being very understanding. Bless him!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I to the N to the SOMNIA!
yeah....I am not sleeping at the moment and I would like to be. Which sucks.
I have never been the world's best sleeper. Even when I was ten years old mum had bought me those relaxation tapes so I could try to sleep better. They never really worked. I get so upset about not being able to go to sleep that I just stress and stress and stress. It freaks me out.
Since going all nutso a coupla years ago, I have been on sleepers to help me sleep, which usually work. I have also been trying to exercise every day or at least every second day. I haven't had a "I know I'm not going to be able to sleep for a while" night in a while. I was lying there with my heart palpating a bit, wide awake and getting more and more anxious.
My solution is to get up and do something like post on my blog, read a book....think about stuff.
I think the fact that I was thinking about stuff is what got me unable to sleep. I mentioned a bit before about my BPD, but one of the symptoms is being unable to have good relationships with others and only seeing negatives in other people's behaviours. I have been really good with trying not to react to what I perceive as other people's poor treatment of me, to treat it in a detatched sort of way and talk to people I know who will give me both sides of the story.
Well the other day I forgot all that and got very annoyed with a friend of mine who I had rung quite a few times before I moved, cause she hadn't returned my calls, and just sent me a message on facebook saying we should catch up. I was annoyed that she couldn't be bothered picking up the phone, but let it go. I suggested a time when we caught up. This wasn't suitable. I suggested another time and there was a "yeah, that sounds good". Then I didn't hear from her for three weeks. I became more and more cranky, thinking "if someone moved to the town that i was living in and didn't know anyone I would try a little harder to be a friend". And I let her have it, saying I was annoyed and upset that she couldn't give me any of her time.
Ooooh boy...and did I get it in a blast back from her. She is working and studying full time, she has a 9 year old daughter, she just had a miscarriage (I didn't even know she was in a relationship)....she has no time for anyone at the moment and she doesn't need me making her feel guilty about it when she's tried hard to catch up with me. Ha!
I felt annoyed when I got her message......then as quickly as the annoyance came, was the shame. Oh dear, she is havign a really hard time and I have just sent her a horrible message which makes her feel dreadful. I am not proud of myself. I got a feeling of massive dejavu, I always used to do this with my friends in Canberra....have fallings out and tell other friends, I was always warring with someone, I always had a nemesis on any given day.
I have stepped back into that world and I hate it. It feels awful. I want to go into my brain and remove the bit that told me it was a good idea to write that email and not just to be tolerant and think the best of people, not the worst. If people aren't continually reassuring me that i am ok, I think they hate me. This does not make sense, but hurrah for psychiatrists. My shrink will no doubtedly advise further action. And guess what? blogging about it helps. Yay. And Kristy, I am sorry. :(
I have never been the world's best sleeper. Even when I was ten years old mum had bought me those relaxation tapes so I could try to sleep better. They never really worked. I get so upset about not being able to go to sleep that I just stress and stress and stress. It freaks me out.
Since going all nutso a coupla years ago, I have been on sleepers to help me sleep, which usually work. I have also been trying to exercise every day or at least every second day. I haven't had a "I know I'm not going to be able to sleep for a while" night in a while. I was lying there with my heart palpating a bit, wide awake and getting more and more anxious.
My solution is to get up and do something like post on my blog, read a book....think about stuff.
I think the fact that I was thinking about stuff is what got me unable to sleep. I mentioned a bit before about my BPD, but one of the symptoms is being unable to have good relationships with others and only seeing negatives in other people's behaviours. I have been really good with trying not to react to what I perceive as other people's poor treatment of me, to treat it in a detatched sort of way and talk to people I know who will give me both sides of the story.
Well the other day I forgot all that and got very annoyed with a friend of mine who I had rung quite a few times before I moved, cause she hadn't returned my calls, and just sent me a message on facebook saying we should catch up. I was annoyed that she couldn't be bothered picking up the phone, but let it go. I suggested a time when we caught up. This wasn't suitable. I suggested another time and there was a "yeah, that sounds good". Then I didn't hear from her for three weeks. I became more and more cranky, thinking "if someone moved to the town that i was living in and didn't know anyone I would try a little harder to be a friend". And I let her have it, saying I was annoyed and upset that she couldn't give me any of her time.
Ooooh boy...and did I get it in a blast back from her. She is working and studying full time, she has a 9 year old daughter, she just had a miscarriage (I didn't even know she was in a relationship)....she has no time for anyone at the moment and she doesn't need me making her feel guilty about it when she's tried hard to catch up with me. Ha!
I felt annoyed when I got her message......then as quickly as the annoyance came, was the shame. Oh dear, she is havign a really hard time and I have just sent her a horrible message which makes her feel dreadful. I am not proud of myself. I got a feeling of massive dejavu, I always used to do this with my friends in Canberra....have fallings out and tell other friends, I was always warring with someone, I always had a nemesis on any given day.
I have stepped back into that world and I hate it. It feels awful. I want to go into my brain and remove the bit that told me it was a good idea to write that email and not just to be tolerant and think the best of people, not the worst. If people aren't continually reassuring me that i am ok, I think they hate me. This does not make sense, but hurrah for psychiatrists. My shrink will no doubtedly advise further action. And guess what? blogging about it helps. Yay. And Kristy, I am sorry. :(
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
More incoherent ramblings
Well, good afternoon all.
This post finds me almost well and sitting here quite happy with my lot. I have been looking back a bit this afternoon, something about looking at Facebook and seeing what my contemporaries have been up to. I've decided that a beautiful little boy and a handsome, loving husband, as well as a supportive family and in-laws is actually a very good deal.
About five years ago I was a very different person.....although a lot the same in some ways. On the 25th of May 2003, I stopped drinking altogether because of a drunken accident I was in. I lost my license for 6 months and got fined $1000. I was lucky not to have been killed or jailed...or worse still, killed someone else.
I was reeling from the shock of it all, and from the shock of my sister announcing her engagement to a honest, reliable and quite gorgeous farmer from Finley. She's 20 months younger than me and has always had her sh*t together in a way that I've never managed. Her engagement really brought home to me that my life was going nowhere fast. I had a series of "relationships", a series of "friendships" and a series of "jobs". Some friends, family, and jobs had hung in there longer than most, but many I had alienated with my mercurial personality and self-defeating behaviour.
I can recognise now that I have problems in the way that I see the world and the way that I form relationships with people. The diagnosis this year that I have Borderline Personality Disorder really puts into focus what I have been grappling with for the past 5 years, but also in a sense, for all of my life.
You see, I have never really felt like I fitted in, I have never liked myself. I have always thought I was ugly and despaired of my ability to ever get a good job, get a man, get friends, etc. When these things came my way, I abused them and lost them. If they hung on, I abused them and despised them. I hated myself and anyone who loved me was worthy of scorn.
It is a massive relief to find out that I actually have a DISEASE which makes me behave/feel like this. I am also an alcoholic - I can never drink again, and haven't since my accident just over 5 years ago. I often used to wonder "why do I hate myself so much?" "Why do I behave like this?".....and over the last five years I have found out why.
If I step outside myself, I can see that I do have good points. I have a warped sense of humour, I love children and small animals, I love my family, I love God, I want to belong, I have a keen fashion sense, I feel things deeply.
On the minus side, I am prone to over-reaction, I have a very thin emotional skin, I doubt and hate myself at times, I can be a real b*tch, I indulge in self-defeating behaviour.
I have found that part of this journey has been to accept myself for who I am, whoever that may be on any given day, and just press on with the task at hand.
I have a charmed life today, the aforementioned lovely hubby and child, and yet sometimes I want things to go badly for me, or to people to treat me badly, so I can complain. I am not content with a good life, I want drama, action, gossip. I am addicted to bad behaviours and really miss the compulsive behaviours I have let go sometimes. I miss being a drunk, a tart and a smoker. (Which is worse, she wonders????)....Responsibility has never sat particularly easy on my shoulders and today it is no different.
How lucky am I that I have the chance to have a good life and change my bad reactions and combat my bad, self defeating behaviour? I have so many people I want to make things up to. Thank you everyone who has kept on loving me even though I have made it hard for them. Today is the future. Today is whatever I want it to be. Today can be healthy if I want it to be.
Yay!
This post finds me almost well and sitting here quite happy with my lot. I have been looking back a bit this afternoon, something about looking at Facebook and seeing what my contemporaries have been up to. I've decided that a beautiful little boy and a handsome, loving husband, as well as a supportive family and in-laws is actually a very good deal.
About five years ago I was a very different person.....although a lot the same in some ways. On the 25th of May 2003, I stopped drinking altogether because of a drunken accident I was in. I lost my license for 6 months and got fined $1000. I was lucky not to have been killed or jailed...or worse still, killed someone else.
I was reeling from the shock of it all, and from the shock of my sister announcing her engagement to a honest, reliable and quite gorgeous farmer from Finley. She's 20 months younger than me and has always had her sh*t together in a way that I've never managed. Her engagement really brought home to me that my life was going nowhere fast. I had a series of "relationships", a series of "friendships" and a series of "jobs". Some friends, family, and jobs had hung in there longer than most, but many I had alienated with my mercurial personality and self-defeating behaviour.
I can recognise now that I have problems in the way that I see the world and the way that I form relationships with people. The diagnosis this year that I have Borderline Personality Disorder really puts into focus what I have been grappling with for the past 5 years, but also in a sense, for all of my life.
You see, I have never really felt like I fitted in, I have never liked myself. I have always thought I was ugly and despaired of my ability to ever get a good job, get a man, get friends, etc. When these things came my way, I abused them and lost them. If they hung on, I abused them and despised them. I hated myself and anyone who loved me was worthy of scorn.
It is a massive relief to find out that I actually have a DISEASE which makes me behave/feel like this. I am also an alcoholic - I can never drink again, and haven't since my accident just over 5 years ago. I often used to wonder "why do I hate myself so much?" "Why do I behave like this?".....and over the last five years I have found out why.
If I step outside myself, I can see that I do have good points. I have a warped sense of humour, I love children and small animals, I love my family, I love God, I want to belong, I have a keen fashion sense, I feel things deeply.
On the minus side, I am prone to over-reaction, I have a very thin emotional skin, I doubt and hate myself at times, I can be a real b*tch, I indulge in self-defeating behaviour.
I have found that part of this journey has been to accept myself for who I am, whoever that may be on any given day, and just press on with the task at hand.
I have a charmed life today, the aforementioned lovely hubby and child, and yet sometimes I want things to go badly for me, or to people to treat me badly, so I can complain. I am not content with a good life, I want drama, action, gossip. I am addicted to bad behaviours and really miss the compulsive behaviours I have let go sometimes. I miss being a drunk, a tart and a smoker. (Which is worse, she wonders????)....Responsibility has never sat particularly easy on my shoulders and today it is no different.
How lucky am I that I have the chance to have a good life and change my bad reactions and combat my bad, self defeating behaviour? I have so many people I want to make things up to. Thank you everyone who has kept on loving me even though I have made it hard for them. Today is the future. Today is whatever I want it to be. Today can be healthy if I want it to be.
Yay!
Monday, May 26, 2008
I really dislike pads with wings.
Ok, so that may be an overshare, but I really really hate them. To the uninformed, they are silly bits of paper either side of your feminine sanitary towel, which are supposed to cling to your pants and stop said towel from shifting around.
And I hate them. I find they hardly ever work, mostly they shrivel up on themselves and create a little papery bulge which is impossible to adhere to your undergarments. I don't understand when it was that women decided we needed an extra bit of useless paper on our pads, but it's near impossible to get a femminine hygiene product sans wings, which really gets on my wick.
Oh, and was anyone else watching Rove last night? Chaz from the Chaser pashed him! It was extremely full on and I was a bit shocked. I thought, am I being homophobic, and thought...no....I would be just as shocked as if it was a female guest who had tried to suck the face off him.
Also, in other news.....The McDonalds on Melbourne road in Shepparton has extremely poor customer service. Picture a whole mcdonalds full of 18 - 19 year old girls who are just making money so they can go out and buy alcopops and fags. They care very little as to whether your McDonalds experience is a happy one. I felt like saying "I was 18 once you know, I was trendy, damn you!". I doubt they would believe me.
Coles have nappies on sale for $30 per box. oooher! Exciting stuff, I hear you say. I must respond to some emails from friends, I haven't sat down at the computer for ages.....trying to unpack and keep Mr Hay junior under control.
I can hear him swearing at something now, probably surrounded by:
a. dirt
b. soap
c. washing powder
d. dirty clothes
e. a mystery concoction of all the above.
And I hate them. I find they hardly ever work, mostly they shrivel up on themselves and create a little papery bulge which is impossible to adhere to your undergarments. I don't understand when it was that women decided we needed an extra bit of useless paper on our pads, but it's near impossible to get a femminine hygiene product sans wings, which really gets on my wick.
Oh, and was anyone else watching Rove last night? Chaz from the Chaser pashed him! It was extremely full on and I was a bit shocked. I thought, am I being homophobic, and thought...no....I would be just as shocked as if it was a female guest who had tried to suck the face off him.
Also, in other news.....The McDonalds on Melbourne road in Shepparton has extremely poor customer service. Picture a whole mcdonalds full of 18 - 19 year old girls who are just making money so they can go out and buy alcopops and fags. They care very little as to whether your McDonalds experience is a happy one. I felt like saying "I was 18 once you know, I was trendy, damn you!". I doubt they would believe me.
Coles have nappies on sale for $30 per box. oooher! Exciting stuff, I hear you say. I must respond to some emails from friends, I haven't sat down at the computer for ages.....trying to unpack and keep Mr Hay junior under control.
I can hear him swearing at something now, probably surrounded by:
a. dirt
b. soap
c. washing powder
d. dirty clothes
e. a mystery concoction of all the above.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder
Crikey!
I hate to say it but it makes sense. Have a look at this article...http://esvc000144.wic027u.server-web.com/pdfs/U%20Borderline%20Personality%20Disorder.pdf
It pretty much describes me. So now I am going to soak up that knowledge and get some help! yay for help.
Love you all,
Deb xoxo
I hate to say it but it makes sense. Have a look at this article...http://esvc000144.wic027u.server-web.com/pdfs/U%20Borderline%20Personality%20Disorder.pdf
It pretty much describes me. So now I am going to soak up that knowledge and get some help! yay for help.
Love you all,
Deb xoxo
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