Thursday, December 11, 2008

Toca me...

Good morning, fair readers.

I am undergoing a pretty big change at the friend Marianne and I have been waking up and going for walkies at 6am in the morning and solving the world's problems as we go! And...the days that she isn't available, I have been going by myself and walking about 4km! Yay for me. I have also been trying to eat more sensibly and gorge on carrots instead of bulk amounts of chocolate. No results on the scales as yet, but I have been feeling sooooooooo much better about myself and more motivated.

I had a bit of a crappy start to the day, Marianne and I had done our walk and I was feeling all virtuous when I went to Mcdonalds for a coffee. The lady who was serving was chat chat chatting to the guy in front of me, even when he had his food and was trying to walk away! However, I was practising patience and tolerance and waited. When he walked off, I approached the counter and said "Hi!". She just looked at me....and I felt myself get quite cross. I hate it when people in retail are rude and just not interested in serving. It is something I am trying to work on, and not take it personally when they have a 'tude......but I stood there for a couple of seconds just waiting to see if she said something, anything in return to my friendly greeting. I felt cross, and said "ummm...aren't you sposed to welcome me to McDonalds?"....she just stared at me and said "I don't think I am". I felt myself get angry and thought that I couldn't possibly treat her with the respect that she deserved, as I was getting unnecessarily angry with her, for reasons only God knows! So I just said "don't worry, forget it" and walked off.

I immediately felt annoyed with myself for taking someone else's tiredness or lack of interest in their job personally....I mean, she's working at McDonalds and is serving at a counter at 6.45am on Thursday morning....she's allowed to be a little jaded. I know I would be. I guess I am making progress cause I didn't stay there and look down my nose at her or make comments about the many layers of eyeliner around her ageing eyes (miaow). I realised that I was getting angry and just removed myself from the situation. I felt like going back and apologising but thought that would just make me feel stoopid and I think she probably would have been like "whatever, loony!" I sent her good vibes and thought....I need a meeting! I am glad of my blog, I thought I would come on and vent.

My psych is really pleased with me as I am making progress, not thinking that my thoughts are always the truth, examining the situation, and removing myself from it if I can't get through it without being angry/rude. I can do a very good line in condescension and nobody deserves that....not even me!! I have noticed, that people seem very pissed off at the moment, a lot of people in retail just seem to be over the whole christmas thing and annoyed with us customers for even existing! Christmas is a stressful time for a lot of people and I need to allow others to have a bad day....not just me!

I am also looking into doing a Bachelor of Media Communication at Charles Sturt Uni! It's exciting.....I have to contact Canberra Institute of Tafe and Uni of Canberra to get transcripts of my prior study, almost 10 years ago....crikey. I am so glad it's now and not 10 years ago. I was a very unhappy lady then.

Love to you all! Dee xoxo