Monday, August 31, 2009

Long time between blogs.....and up before 6am!

Good morning all,

Well, it's extremely early and I only went to bed at 12.30...what the heck am I doing up at this insane hour? The answer is, changing a wet little boy's sheets and clothes, and stressing about my new job!! Eeeek!!

Let's put this into a bit of perspective - I have been doing the whole "let's hand it over to God" thing, and trying just to sleep and not think about what lays ahead, but let's face it, I have been not sleeping the night before important events since my first test in primary school. Always been just a leeeeeeeeeeedle bit of a worrier.

But I think in this instance that I might have due course. I was working a very reasonable two day a week job, but was getting worried that I'd get bored. I had been relieving another woman's position, and it was very busy, and I was enjoying the challenge. I started to miss being might say my pride was telling me that I needed some more validation in my job. I didn't really stop to think about the play being on in 2 weeks and that I'd be super busy with that. I wanted a new job and I wanted it noooooooooooooooow (the usual time I want most things....oh, and if not now, on MY TERMS, than you very much, God!!)

So...this job offer plopped into my lap. A friend from work put me forward for it, and I thought I pretty much had the job. Turned out, I had to interview for it, and the more they thought about it, the more I became convinced that I NEEDED THIS JOB!!!! So I did the best interview I possibly could, did my research and said all the right things, most of which were true. After that, it all happened pretty fast. I gave my notice, trained my replacement, had my farewell morning tea and thought about all the things I could buy with my pay....heheheh....good priorities!!

On the weekend, I had some training and started to have second thoughts. The good thing, is that they have built into the contract that I signed a get out clause for both of us, after one week we will both give feedback and see if we want to continue. I guess they realise that the job is pretty full on, as they've had a couple of women in the position who have had to leave because of the stress. my reservations are:
- the hours are long, and from what I can understand there is a lot of unpaid overtime, on weekends and after hours. I simply don't have this time up my sleeve - I want to be able to leave work at 5pm to pick up my boy and have quality time with him. I'm committed to 8.30 til 5pm but am concerned that there is a work ethic of working til the job's done. I simply cannot do this.
- there is a lot of abuse coming my way!! Dealing with very irate customers is part and parcel of this job. Typical reception/call centre procedure dictates you are allowed to disconnect callers if they repeatedly abuse you. I asked if after a few warnings, I'm allowed to disconnect if people are verbally abusive. I was told "you never hang up on a customer!". cripes.
- I have a sinking feeling that there is a drinking culture within this company. Something tells me this, although I have no proof.
- there is a lot of swearing and stuff that goes on. I don't mind a good swear now and again but not so much in the workplace.
- I am really quite concerned about how I am going to cope with the pressure. In the interview I said I coped well with pressure, and this is true for the most part....but I haven't had to cope with workplace pressure for a long time and I'm unsure as to how I"ll go.

So there you have it. I suppose I really have to front up this morning and see how I go. The bad news is that I already notified centrelink about the increased pay that I'll be getting in this job, so our childcare will skyrocket. If I do finish up at the end of the week, I am worried that I won't be able to get another job and will be forking out $200 for childcare with no way of paying for it. I am also a bit in favour of not continuing in the job, as production week (next week) is scarily busy and I really don't know how I'm going to handle the new job and the long hours of rehearsal.

Writing about this has really helped me, I have been laying in bed trying to rationalise my feelings, but setting them out in front of me has helped to clarify them. I think what I'll do is go to work and see how I go, then raise my concerns with my disability support worker - that's what she's there for!! I am sure they'll be supportive if I feel I can't cope, and will have some options. There is no shame in doing what's right for me. There is shame in staying in a situation because you're afraid of what people might think of you. So, yeah. Go me. I might even like the job!!!

Thanks for listening and I'll keep you all posted.

Deb :)
ps - the play is going fabulously and I'm relishing the juicy role of Maureen Delaney. She's such a baaaaaaaaaaad woman. I love our cast and I just laugh a lot of our rehearsals. I'm so looking forward to performing. See you at Inheritance!!