Monday, October 6, 2008

Rude much?

Ok....Alex is sick again and it is quite difficult taking him to the doctor as he gets upset really easily and when he's sick I'm usually sleep deprived and stressed as well. It didn't really help that last night I stayed up til nearly 1am looking at websites on Borderline Personality Disorder.

It was really interesting though, I found this site on supporting a family member with BPD. I sent it to all my family cause so much of it is stuff that I think.

Anyhoo...back to the post's title....Alex had been very upset in the surgery and I was putting him and my shopping in the car when a coupla teenagers and their parents walked up and the boy opened his door on the trolley that I was unpacking. THey glared at me. I said "can I just get things unpacked? my son's not well".. The mother snapped "well HURRY UP then, you could just move your trolley over to the other side so we can get in your car". I felt totally pissed off as I was there before them and didn't have to say anything at all to them...was just doing so out of kindness (I am a real giver). I muttered something about "oh yeah, thanks, mother appeals to another, good on you.....I'm sure your toddler was never sick and upset" and she refused to look at me as I moved my trolley to the other side and muttered. I found this so upsetting and was upset and stressed and pissed off. As they pulled out of the car park, with me fighting the urge to go and yell at her, I raised my hand in a one-fingered salute...and instantly felt disappointed in myself. I am trying so hard to respond to stress in a reasonable way and not to get into things that are nothing to do with me.

I take things so personally....I didn't think that perhaps they were stressed or just wanted to get into their car and weren't thinking of me and my struggle. Gah. Oh well....tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to Sydney so will potentially run into rudeness from other travellers. I must steel myself NOT TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY! Some people have attitude problems and often that is nothing to do with me. Look at the 20 other people who smiled sympathetically at me in the shopping centre when Alex was crying and clinging to me and not the one freakin person who was rude. Glass half empty, not half full. Yes.

I'm going to go and get dinner ready and cook a meal for tomorrow night when I'm away. Hope all is well to my pals. write me a comment and acknowledge my frailties!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The best things in life are free

but you can tell it to the birds and bees.....

I've just been sitting here looking at my blog and how well it started out and how quickly it fell in a hole! it's been nearly three months since I wrote anything...and I think that my problem is that I write massive essays/epistles and then feel pressured because I don't want to sit down and write so much all the time. I think sometimes I'm just gonna have to write a little sentence or paragraph and then the blog will be more alive.

My husband just called me a slimy green turtle, and boy did it make me laugh. We were having one of those abstract conversations about cartoons and I was telling him that I was coming out of my yes..I am a slimy green turtle. That's ok cause I called him a giant rat, aka Splinter.

Oh dear..Alex is whinging and whining. What fun for all involved. He fell asleep at 7.20 without dinner, he was so tired he was practically hysterical. I fear a long night ahead! I don't know what is wrong with him. I've given him panadol and that should fix everything, shouldn't it?

I want to give you a list of top 10 things I love about Shep:
1. The shops!
2. Aquamoves, a fabulous gym
3. Saeeda, our fantastic daycare lady
4. Lots of different parks to take Alex to
5. Jungle Jive - this indoor playgym with a lovely cup of coffee has been my saviour on a wet/cold/windy day
6. My new friends Marianne and Kelly and Catherine
7. More 12 step meetings here and volunteer work
8. The fabulous drama group, STAG, whose latest production I have scored a role in
9. The anonimity - nobody says "are you Jennie's sister/Richard's wife/ Dr Cook's daughter"
10. The fact that it's a new start and nobody here looks at me with pity (yet!)

And....without further ado, the 10 things I'm not so crazy about Shep:
1. None of my family live here and I miss them
2. Everything is more spread out so I don't walk as much as I used to in Finley
3. I miss being part of a tight-knit community sometimes
4. I am quite often the new girl and have to do lots of small talk, sometimes I wish I could just cut the crap!
5. People in Shep have the audacity to have their own lives! ha. I find that people can be really busy and I find it hard to be persistent if they turn me down for social things
6.The anonimity- in some ways I'm not as accountable for my behaviour
7. I miss my mothers group and rolling with my homies Sara, Dimity, Tessa, etc
8. I miss Richard's family too, they're very supportive and good babysitters!
9. Road rage and paying for parking
10. Not getting to see my gorgeous niece and nephews all the time (kinda ties in with 1!)