Ok....Alex is sick again and it is quite difficult taking him to the doctor as he gets upset really easily and when he's sick I'm usually sleep deprived and stressed as well. It didn't really help that last night I stayed up til nearly 1am looking at websites on Borderline Personality Disorder.
It was really interesting though, I found this site http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a107.htm on supporting a family member with BPD. I sent it to all my family cause so much of it is stuff that I think.
Anyhoo...back to the post's title....Alex had been very upset in the surgery and I was putting him and my shopping in the car when a coupla teenagers and their parents walked up and the boy opened his door on the trolley that I was unpacking. THey glared at me. I said "can I just get things unpacked? my son's not well".. The mother snapped "well HURRY UP then, you could just move your trolley over to the other side so we can get in your car". I felt totally pissed off as I was there before them and didn't have to say anything at all to them...was just doing so out of kindness (I am a real giver). I muttered something about "oh yeah, thanks, great...one mother appeals to another, good on you.....I'm sure your toddler was never sick and upset" and she refused to look at me as I moved my trolley to the other side and muttered. I found this so upsetting and was upset and stressed and pissed off. As they pulled out of the car park, with me fighting the urge to go and yell at her, I raised my hand in a one-fingered salute...and instantly felt disappointed in myself. I am trying so hard to respond to stress in a reasonable way and not to get into things that are nothing to do with me.
I take things so personally....I didn't think that perhaps they were stressed or just wanted to get into their car and weren't thinking of me and my struggle. Gah. Oh well....tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to Sydney so will potentially run into rudeness from other travellers. I must steel myself NOT TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY! Some people have attitude problems and often that is nothing to do with me. Look at the 20 other people who smiled sympathetically at me in the shopping centre when Alex was crying and clinging to me and not the one freakin person who was rude. Glass half empty, not half full. Yes.
I'm going to go and get dinner ready and cook a meal for tomorrow night when I'm away. Hope all is well to my pals. write me a comment and acknowledge my frailties!