I'm having a Barbara Streisland moment....
This past week and a bit, I have:
-enrolled in a Bachelor of Communication at the Open Uni and started my first 800 word essay
- had a 3 person panel job interview for a job I really really wanted
- reprised my role as "Vera" in the STAG Production of "Brassed Off"
- attended a number of 12 step meetings
- felt blessed
- enjoyed the company of friends and my lovely husband and gorgeous boy Alex
- had a yucky throat infection
- discovered that due to a misunderstanding with Centrelink, apparently I've been overpaid and owe them money. Grr!
- obsessed over Robyn's "With Every Heartbeat", after seeing her perform live on BBC1's live concert on ABC2...and also realising that this song is part of Body Jam 39...
Ok, enough with the dot points (or dash points, I should say). Man, I am really realising how much more confidence I have in myself...it is a fantastic thing. I am love love loving living in Shepparton, even though I miss my extended family.....I feel like I'm slowly making my own family here.
I went for a job interview and while I was there, my friend Marianne looked after Alex...I went in there and thought that even though they may not give me the position, that I want to be honest about what has happened in my life over the past little while, and talked about my Post Natal Depression and how I feel that it's given me empathy towards those who are suffering, and my battle with alcohol and how that has given me the ability to understand people who struggle.
I came back to the ladies bible study that Marianne hosts on Thursday, picked up my little boy, went and sat at the table and when it was prayer time, I said to them that I was so filled with JOY! I was so overjoyed that I was able to attend an interview and do my best, whatever the outcome. I just really felt that I had left my future in God's hands.
That doesn't mean that I didn't take it out of his hands the next day, stressing about what I was going to do, worrying about the new crappy forms that centrelink wants us to fill in fortnightly......etc etc. But I'm happy to say that at this stage of the week, I feel like the ball's back in his court again. Phew! It feels good to leave it there....to know that he is in control, not me. So many fantastic things have happened this year that I couldn't have imagined and I just have to trust him and hang on!!
Lots of love to you all, especially my new Brassed Off family. Love love love!!