Friday, October 19, 2012

A message from an ex-dancing queen to Em Rusciano

I have been thinking a lot about Em Rusciano's post on Mamamia yesterday. -

And, it brought up a lot of stuff for me.  I'll admit it, first I went all judgey, and wondered why she was still going out when she had kids.  And then, I realised that she was right - she has the perfect right to dance on a podium, get dressed up and enjoy a night out.  Why does it bother me so much?


Because I can't be that mum.  And, that comes with a bit of grief for me.  As readers of my blog know, I'm nine years sober and mostly happy about that.  But, to have a sustained sobriety, I have to avoid the old places.  I have to check myself before I literally wreck would be all too easy to fall back into drinking to make me feel good about myself, then ending up a messy wreck, doing things I don't like with people I hardly know, losing my self respect, probably losing my marriage and perhaps even access to my son.  Yes, it was that bad at the end. My husband and son have never seen me drink, and I never want them to.

I know from my friends in AA, that if you go to places where the drinks are flowing, that sooner or later, you'll drink.  As the saying goes, "there's only so many times that you can sit in the hairdresser's chair before you get a haircut".  My life has had to change because of my illness, and mostly, I'm okay with that....but it makes me feel different!  Which, I guess I am....but I realised that I had a message for Em, as I read her article.

Em - you are foxy, and go girl, for going out and partying.  That's great that you can do that without compromising your family and relationships.  (Apart from those nosey parkers who judge!)  But, just because I'm not on a podium dancing, or because I can't have drinks with the girls, doesn't mean I'm a party pooper.  My life is different to yours, but I like to think that I'm still fun.  So, even though you say that you have little in common with the 40 something mums at school, try sharing a racy joke with them occasionally.  You might be surprised....we might have been waiting for the opportunity to make you laugh.  Don't judge a book by it's un-sequined, non-podium dancing cover.

Deb xx

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