Friday, February 15, 2008

Our minister has started calling me "BIG RED"!! this week's installment of my blog finds me slightly annoyed that the minister of our church thinks he is able to call me big red. I hate being called big red, I hated it all through school and I particularly hate it now. I do not mind being called "red", as I quite enjoy being a redhead....but why the "big" part? He has a wife and kids.....two of whom are girls....surely he knows that it is NOT ok for anyone to call a girl/woman "big"! (Unless she introduces herself as such). I find it so insulting. (I just wrote him an email to say "thanks but no thanks!')

Richard's boss when he was working for Case here in Finley, called me "Big Red" at a social function and I burst into tears. (was about four years ago) I am sure it wasn't meant in a horrible manner....but ahhh it brings back so many horrid school memories. At school, they also called me "Big Betty", from Betty on Hey Dad - she was the silly secretary with red hair. I wanted to get some sort of revenge on them all and show up at the school reunion looking fabulous or turn up with a really hot guy at our graduation....but never quite got around to it.

I reckon being a teenager is horrible. Your face and body are out of control, you have all these hormones....blah! I have always wanted to be cool - wanted to be acceptable. I have had varying degrees of success, but most of my victories have been empty cause I didn't really believe that I was worth it. I'm still working on that. But since Alex has come along, I have made a lot of progress in that area. I've grown in patience...I've had to! I have also realised that I have to do the right thing for Alex and Richard and I, and stuff everyone else. Well, not quite, but you do get a lot of advice when you've a little one.

Bla bla bla, what else? Hmm, I have been thinking about my beautiful little boy and how in love with him I am. Can't believe that the Post Natal Depression was so horrid that I just wanted him to go away! I associated the feelings I was having with him being there and just wanted it all to go away. It has been a slow process....I still feel guilty about feeling like that....but it was what it was, I can't change it by wishing it away. Lots of women get PND.

I really enjoy my mothers group. The girls in it are so much fun and I really feel at home with them. We're all similar in some respects and different in others. Everyone has found having a bub to be a massive upheaval! Hmmm....not much else to report, other than the fact that we are going to Bribane! Yay! In about two weeks. Can't wait.

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