Sunday, May 27, 2012

Jumping off...

I have had another article published on Mamamia - bam, just like that. Sent it off,  and 24 hours later, 91 people have read it.  Some people I do know, some people I don't.  Crazy stuff.  And good friends of mine are telling me that I should write a book.  Whoa.

I guess I'll look at the reasons why this scares me!
- because it might be crap, and everyone will laugh
- because writing is something I enjoy and if I make a job out of it, will I still enjoy it?
- what if I suck? What if I don't suck? What if it's really good and I sabotage it?
- Richard is not keen for Alex or he to feature in this book.  He says he just doesn't know that everyone needs to know everything about us.  So I'm wondering if I need to still write it autobiographically, or do I write fiction?
- I know me, and I like approval.  What if I get addicted to people approving of me and feel bad if they don't.  I guess the answer to that is, to find other ways to define myself that don't centre around what I do.  Which is kind of why I'm not rushing out to get another job - there is a lot of work to be done in the house, etc, but I don't want to jump into something else so that I don't have to think about the reasons why this last job didn't work out. I feel that I need to work on the ways I respond to conflict and the reasons that I do what I do. (see previous post on approval!!)

Reasons why I like it:
- Gosh, I love writing. If I could make a living out of it, then I would feel soooo happy!
- I am slightly/moderately/very egocentric and like the idea of my name being on the title of something, of achieved something, of everyone telling me HOW FREAKING AWESOME I AM!
- I love the feeling of constructing a sentence, and modifying it, of searching for the right word, of encapsulating what I am thinking and feeling. Of sharing that with other people and having them say "yes! That's how I felt, but I didn't know how to put it into words".  The bible says not to hide our lights under a bushel.  Maybe it's time to kick that bushel to the curb and just go for it?

Watch this space :) :)

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